Want open convos with your teen? The key is building trust long before they hit 13. Start when they’re toddlers. Here’s how.

Parents want their teenagers to ask for help, come to them when they’re in trouble, or even just share something—anything—about their day. But those open, trusting conversations don’t begin at 13. They begin at three.

If we want our kids to confide in us later, we need to lay the foundation when they’re still asking us to read “just one more story” before bed. The good news? You can start building that foundation today, in the simplest moments.

1. Be present, not perfect

You don’t need to be a flawless parent with expert-level answers. What kids crave is your undivided presence. Whether you’re watching a movie, doing a puzzle, or driving to daycare, try to stay present. Put down your phone. Make eye contact. React to what they’re saying, even if it’s a five-minute explanation of what their stuffed animal “ate” for lunch.

These micro-moments show your child, “You matter. I’m here.” That message sticks with them and becomes the foundation of long-term trust.

2. Listen on their schedule

Kids don’t schedule heart-to-heart talks or a time to share their worries. They talk when they’re ready. It might be while brushing their teeth, right before bed, or in the car with the music low.

As a parent, this means we have to stay flexible. Sometimes, their timing won’t be ideal (think: 10:00 p.m. on a school night when you’re exhausted). But when your child wants to talk, try to pause and lean in. That responsiveness tells them, “I’m here when you need me.”

3. Put the devices away

This one’s tough in a world of constant digital distractions, but it’s essential. If your child sees you half-listening with one eye on your screen, they will not feel like what they’re saying matters.

Try setting small tech-free rituals, such as no phones during dinner, no screens at bedtime stories, or a few uninterrupted minutes after school. It’s much easier to establish these rituals when kids are toddlers. In my family, there were no screens in the car unless the drive was over two hours long.

Soon, car rides became our go-to place to catch up, sing together and share little things about our lives. Now that my kids are both teenagers, and sometimes they’re the driver, we still hold this ritual. These habits send a clear message: You’re more important than my notifications, and I’m interested in your life.

4. Don’t try to fix. Just listen

When your child opens up, whether it’s about a lost toy, a tough level on their video game or a friend drama, resist the urge to jump in with advice or solutions. Instead, try something simple: “That sounds hard,” or “Tell me more.”

Your calm, non-judgmental presence helps your child feel emotionally safe. Over time, they learn that they can come to you without fear of being dismissed, criticized, or “fixed.”

It’s never too early (or too late)

Building trust doesn’t require a perfect track record. It’s built moment by moment, in the everyday rhythms of family life. If you’ve got a toddler who wants to narrate their bath time or a teen who rarely says more than two words, show up anyway. Listen. Be patient.

Because when your child believes they can come to you with the little stuff, they’re far more likely to come to you with the big stuff, too.

Article Source: Today’s Parent

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Discovery Point Nursery and Academy is a daycare in Woodbridge, Ontario.